It’s never an easy thing for a parent to lose a child, no matter the age. Truly, there are few tragedies that can compare to it. Kidnapping is perhaps one of the worst forms of this; to know that your child may be alive somewhere but that you’ll likely never see them again.
For John Clark, these feelings were compounded by the fact that his wife had gone missing as well and that, in reality, she was the one responsible for everything, including taking his children away. Of course, he wouldn’t find out all the sordid details until many years later…
Featured Photo Credit: Dr. Phil / YouTube
Giving Up
In 2001, John Clark was close to giving up entirely. It had been six years since his wife, Eileen had vanished from their New Mexico home. Not only had Eileen disappeared, but so too had their three children, Chandler, Hayden, and little two-year-old Rebekah. Six years and he still had no idea where they were.
Missing his Shot
As far as John was concerned, he had missed his final chance at finding them. Eileen had slipped through his grasp yet again and she’d taken the kids with her. Yet despite his initial resignation to a life without his family, he persevered. He had no idea that the coming years would bring more chances and sadly, more heartache.
Fearful
The Clarks’ story began in February of 1995, when Eileen decided, out of nowhere, to take their seven, five, and two-year-old children and leave New Mexico for good. Before she left, she wrote a letter to her parents in Atlanta, warning them that she feared for her life and had to leave if she wanted her children to grow up with a mother.
Abuse
For his part, John seemed to have no idea about any sort of threats he might have made upon his wife’s life. He certainly never would have hurt her or their children. Nevertheless, a pile of legal depositions from assorted friends and relatives soon emerged, each one more damning towards him than the last. There were some problems with these, however.
Defend Oneself
These depositions, from people that John had only the barest knowledge of, described the various abuses that Eileen had suffered at the hands of her husband. Over the coming years, John would have to defend himself a number of times against those allegedly spurious charges. He even took two lie detector tests in that capacity.
No Such Thing
Still, there was no proof of any physical abuse, no police reports, no arrest record. If John was abusing Eileen and there was all this anecdotal evidence from concerned friends and relatives, why had it never drawn the attention of any local law enforcement? No, whatever Eileen’s reasons for leaving, it was clear that physical abuse wasn’t one of them.
Dr. Phil
What followed was nearly two decades of pain, frustration, and more than anything else, resentment. John’s story eventually made the news and in time would even garner him a place on television when he visited the Dr. Phil talk show. In the end, though, the long arm of the media worked as much against John as it did in helping him find his lost family.
The Call
Much of the next decades involved little more than conjecture and uncertainty when it came to his family’s whereabouts. It wasn’t until 2008 that John would get any sort of definitive answer. It came as he was making his way up a ladder to fix some blinds. John’s cell phone rang and the voice on the other line told him that they had found his family, but that it was complicated.
Across the Pond
Eileen had left her husband in 1995 and apparently decided that the only way she would be safe from him was to move herself and her children out of the country. She moved to Oxford, England and settled there. Though they found her in 2008, it would be another two years before the English would concede to extradite her to the US to face trial.
Complications
In England, the Clarks’ story was very different from the tale folks were telling in the United States. There, Eileen was seen as an innocent victim of an abusive husband who was forced to flee the country with her children. Her extradition was seen as equally unfair, especially when one considers that she’d sought the help of several civil liberties groups in Britain to stave off extradition.
Gender Bias
There was also the fact that in most of these cases, even without any hard evidence, many people would invariably take the side of the “fleeing wife and mother” than the “potentially abusive husband.” This innate gender bias has resulted in many men being falsely accused and punished as a result. John Clark was not about to let himself be so framed.
It’s Not Right
When John did visit England to attend one of the extradition hearings, he encountered this bias firsthand. Not one of the British news outlets seemed interested to hear his side of the story. John couldn’t believe it. He was the person who had lost his kids. Eileen had essentially stolen them from him, hidden them away for 15 years, and he was being seen as the bad guy?
Missing Them
To John, this wasn’t about Eileen or their relationship. This was all about his lost children. Even after Eileen was found and extradited, before the court case truly began in earnest, he made contact with his kids. Unfortunately, it was not the happy reunion that he had dreamed of all those years. Chandler and Hayden’s visit to New Mexico seemed like a fine reconnection, but they turned their back on him once the trial began.
Hating Dad
Little Rebekah, who he hadn’t seen since she was two, wrote one letter to her father, but it was not what one might call, emotional. His children know nothing of how he suffered. They were raised believing that their mother left for a very good reason and the British press did little to dissuade them of the notion that John was the true villain of the tale.
A Death in the Family
The three children could never know how much their father had mourned them. To John, it was as if they were truly dead and gone. Eileen had taken the kids and all the money from their joint account, but nothing else. As such, John left the kids bedrooms exactly as they were for nearly five years. He was holding onto hope for that long.
Fearful Reasoning
In addition to the fear that his children were gone for good, John also struggled to come to grips with why his wife had done what she’d done. Perhaps her history of depression had caused her to fear that she’d lost custody of the children in a messy divorce. Perhaps it was that fear which prompted her to cry abuse.
Gone to Court
After years of strain and uncertainty, it seemed Eileen was finally going to be put to account for her actions. John and his second wife, Jeanette, made their way to the federal court in Albuquerque to attend the trial. Little did they know that there was to be no trial, it seemed that Eileen had made a drastic decision.
Admission
In return for a reduced sentence, Eileen Clark had agreed to change her not guilty plea to a guilty one. She was charged with a felony, “international parental kidnapping” and would serve 12 months unsupervised probation, to be served back in her home in Britain. John couldn’t believe that she wouldn’t serve a day of prison time for what she’d done.
Blocked
Still, John had been informed that this might be the case. He knew that her plea could mean she went home to reunite with their children and he could have taken the option and blocked the plea, but didn’t. Instead, he chose not to fight it. It was a gift. He wanted to give his children something and show that he was merciful.
Vindicated
Eileen wouldn’t even meet his eye as she was ushered out of the courtroom, but this didn’t bother him. Instead, John felt vindicated by the whole situation. In his mind and in the eyes of the public, his wife was guilty and he was not the villain they’d thought him to be. He just hoped that his children would one day be able to realize it too.
