Many people believe this to be the age of entitlement and think that those of the Millennial generation are among the greatest culprits. Those people believe that Millennials are narcissists, who believe themselves infallible and deserving of the utmost respect, regardless of any mistakes they’ve made.
Yet, narcissism has very little to do with what decade you were raised in and everything to do with a real and serious mental illness. Though it may not sound like your average mental illness, narcissism is among the most common mental dysfunctions out there today. Here are 20 signs that someone you know may be an actual narcissist.
Apparently, those who possess narcissistic tendencies are fond of using vulgar language. A recent study conducted by the Washington University in St. Louis found that subjects with narcissism were more argumentative than the other participants. The narcissistic subjects also used fouler language in general than everyone else, and tended to utilize more sexually explicit language.
Tool Of The Self-Righteous
Narcissists don’t generally possess a great deal of self-awareness, but what they do have in abundance is self-righteousness. They often believe that their views are inherently superior to those of other people and bask in the attention they receive for holding those views. Those narcissists who are also religious might even cloak this self-righteousness in an inflated sense of spiritual connection.
Though they know deep down that vengeful or antisocial behavior isn’t socially acceptable, most narcissists simply disregard those feelings. In their minds, they are justified in being mean to those who’ve wronged them, and often take offense at the words or actions of others even when they aren’t meant to be offensive.
Despite the often antisocial tendencies of those with narcissism, many narcissists actually seem to gravitate towards leadership positions. This is mostly attributed to the fact that they possess an uncanny ability to dominate others with their personality. Putting themselves into leadership positions also serves to fulfill their need for constant positive reinforcement.
If Kanye West is any indication, it appears that as attention-seeking and outrageous as they appear, narcissists are pretty darn entertaining. Narcissists possess an air of self-confidence that others do not. That, mixed with talent and a desire to be seen and respected, can make them very effective entertainers.
Those Pesky Emotions
Narcissists are not to be confused with psychopaths. They feel emotions just like anyone else, they just hate having to feel them. Narcissists believe that emotions like rage or sadness challenge their sense of perfect autonomy. The idea that something outside themselves can affect them is something they cannot abide and would never choose to discuss.
Bad Sport, Old Sport
Unsurprisingly, many narcissists also happen to be bullies. Not in the traditional sense, mind you, but specifically when it comes to competition. Some narcissists are either sore losers or even sore winners. They react poorly to being chastised by referees and if they win, might gloat a bit more excessively than your average person.
It seems like many narcissists feel they are underappreciated by the world at large. You’d think that given their ego and the way they appreciate themselves, they’d have enough self-confidence already. That isn’t the case though. Narcissists feel they are entitled to receive the recognition and respect of others.
If you’ve ever had the misfortune of dating a narcissist, then you already know that many of them tend to be unfaithful in relationships. As if this weren’t enough, studies have also determined that narcissists are more likely to cheat once they think their partners are committed in the relationship.
Whether it’s the cheating or some of their more unpleasant personality traits, people who date narcissists generally tend to break off the relationship after about four months. Studies have shown that this four-month mark, typically the satisfaction peak in any relationship, is about the time the dater finally sees their narcissistic partner’s true colors.
Always In Control
Narcissists don’t just like to remain emotionally in control, they also can’t stand to be at the mercy of other people’s feelings or even their preferences. Kowtowing to other people’s desires or plans reminds them that they aren’t as independent or in control of the world as their narcissistic delusions make them think they are.
It is precisely because of their desire to not go along with the plans of others that many narcissists seem to be late to everything. This chronic lateness or even calling at the last minute to change plans, allows the narcissist to take back control of a situation, undermine the desires of others, and maintain their much-needed sense of autonomy over the world.
Ignored And Adored
According to renowned psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud, it is the combination of parental rejection and excessive admiration which ultimately makes a narcissist. In fact, it is this inconsistency of attitude and regard towards children that makes them crave admiration from everyone else in their adult lives. They need that constant ego boost to keep them going.
This one represents a difference between female narcissists and male ones. Women with narcissism tend to choose male friends with high social status so they can feel a sense of worthiness. Whereas as narcissistic men go for “bro” types who can act as “wingmen” for them when they’re trying to pick up girls.
Most narcissists don’t really listen when others speak. Instead, they tend to politely wait, taking in nothing of what the other speaker has said until it is their turn to speak. When they finally do speak, they also tend to steer the conversation towards themselves and make exaggerated hand movements or talk loudly to draw the attention of everyone in the vicinity.
It may seem strange, but many narcissists actually love romance. They fall in and out of love very quickly and very easily. Like much of what they believe about themselves, this is merely a delusion. Even if they think their partner is a perfect complement to their own perfection at the onset, they soon realize that even their great love has flaws, and quickly fall out of love.
Perfection On A Pedestal
Most Narcissists possess a flawed sense of logic and this extends to how they view other people as well. Whether it is a successful work colleague or a crush, narcissists will often put these people on pedestals, thinking they too will become perfect by association. As soon as they see that person isn’t as impeccable as they believed, they sever ties.
Narcissistic people often put others down in order to reaffirm their own internal sense of superiority. This, of course, makes it hard for most narcissists to keep friends for a long time. There is only so much most people can take, after all. Thus, narcissists are constantly on the search for new friends to lord over and mock to make themselves feel more important.
It may sound strange but not all narcissists are the grandiose jerkwads we imagine them to be — quite the contrary, in fact. Many narcissists can actually be quite introverted. They can be hypersensitive, defensive, and even anxious in their dealings with others. This is because in their minds, dealing with others only serves to disprove the illusion in their mind that they’re the best.
Everyone’s a Dolt
If one of your friends is a one-upping know-it-all, they may be a narcissist. Though not all narcissists are know-it-alls, many of them tend towards a “my way or the highway” approach to speaking with others. They refuse to believe that anyone else can compare with them, either mentally or physically.